Is he a Stoner? (3c)

TL;DR. A tips and tricks guide to find out whether your friend is a Stoner.
TH;CR. A Stoner check list.



Dilemma
Ever wonder if that girl or guy in your class smokes weed, but you're too shy to ask. Perhaps the security guard in your building with the Jamaican accent? The too-goo-to-be-true boss? The following remedies are based off of my own meandering experiences and are not scientifically proven. They are basic guidelines not the 10 commandments written in stone. I will propose possible solutions to connecting with other Stoners through communication, body language and acute observations.

Items to Observe for:
The following compilation of items are not full indicative of whether someone is a Stoner or not. These are factors that increase the possibility of one being a Stoner but does not guaranteeing 100% successful recognition rate. I've excluded obvious items such as pipes, bongs, one-hitters and weed.

• Fancy Lighter
  A fancy lighter often implies the consistent use of a lighter to the extent that one finds it necessary to get a pricey one. If the observed individual does not smoke tobacco the chances of him/her being a Stoner increases two-fold.
• Visine
  Visine is eye-drop medication for redness, dryness, fatigue and/or watery eyes. Coincidentally the consumption of weed share the exact same side effects but not necessarily all at the same time. This item on its own is a good indicator of a person being a Stoner. Keep in mind, however, there are people out there who use this for minor allergic reactions.
• Zig-Zags
  Do not jump to the conclusion that a person with Zig-Zags is a weed consumer. There is a small but existent population of tobacco smokers who like to roll their own cigarettes. That being said, if the suspected person doesn't smoke tobacco there is only one other logical conclusion. He smokes weed.
• Dime Bags
  There are few, if any, reasons to have dime bags around other than for drugs. A small minority of the population may have gotten them from fishing tackle stores, but Toronto isn't known for its fishing tourism.
• Bottle of Deodorant
  This is a speculative item. If the suspected person doesn't go to the gym and comes back from breaks smelling like deodorant there is a high possibility that he's a Stoner.
• Bloodshot eyes
  Another speculative observation that can be caused by a number of reasons outside of weed use. These reasons can include exam season, game debut, break-ups or allergies. It is a possible sign, weak yet significant when combined with the clues from above.
• Hipster apparel
  The unwarranted outcome of the Hippy movement. Do that math.
• Dreadlocks
  Bob Marley's legacy. Respects mon.

The Confirmation:

You can guess, hypothesize and speculate as much as you want, without a solid approach it's like smoking stems. Use your innate sarcasm, humor and wit. Stoners in general are very friendly and laid back people, we feel the need to hide our habits out of fear of the law and the negative stigma's associated with the label. I've compiled a list of openers, you can add your own variation to fit the situation.

"Do you somke?"
"No, not cigarettes."

"You free at 4:20?"

"Visine eh? High season for allergies?" *sarcasm*

 *See someone with bloodshot eyes*
"Long night eh? Must've been good." *Smirk*

 Pick-up artists will have no problem with these approaches. The key is to say one thing but mean another, yet subtle enough to not accuse but encourage admission of weed use. You are essentially trying to seduce the suspected person into admitting their love of weed. Show yourself to be the open-minded liberal, the Good Guy Greg.