Joint Tutorial (1e)

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a life time.

TL;DR. I will be introducing the aspects of a good joint and instructions on how to craft such a master piece.
TH;CR. I will teach you what is a good joint and how to roll a good joint.


Joint Aspects:
Rolling is an art. It is an art requiring detail, dedication and most of all heart. Joints similar to restaurants have three constraints. They are as follows.

1. Cheap: 
• Would you rather smoke a joint that's crooked, wrinkly and uneven? Or one that is straight, crease-less, and conic? You want to be classy, not scummy.
2. Fast:
• In modern society, time is money. In Stoner culture, there are days when it's 4:18pm and you only have 2 minutes to roll. The current record I've witnessed was 2 minutes and 24 seconds set at 4:20pm on April 20th, 2010.
  
3. Good:
• The point of a joint is to deliver medication to the user. You do not want to spend the entire session re-lighting after every toke. A good joint only needs to be lit once.

Materials:
You will need the following materials in order to roll a master piece of a joint:

• Rolling Papers
• I personally prefer RAWs, they're thin, unbleached and longer

• Filter
• The greatest honor you can bestow upon a friendly Stoner is using their business card for filter paper. Avoid the glossy ones.

• Weed
• Pick  your poison.
• Grinder
• A grinder will cost you a few bucks up front, the time you save makes it a worthwhile investment.
• Container
• An 8 x 11 sheet of paper folded inwards will suffice

Preparation:

You must first prepare the food first before you start cooking. 

1. Take a few nugs and put it in the grinder. Give it a few churns before emptying the grounded weed into the container.
   If you do not have a grinder, then you will have to do it old school. Grind the weed up with your fingers or any blunt object on a flat surface will also suffice. Again, empty the grounded weed into the container.
   You must pick out the stems and seeds (if there are any). Failure to do so will result in an uneven, poor burn and it may start canoe-ing.
   
2. Take the rolling paper and curl the bottom half, please ensure that you have curled into the same side of the glue. Otherwise it will not stick.
   
3. Take a piece of business card, paper or thin cardboard and roll it into a circle for the filter.
   

Now you are ready to start cooking.

Rolling the Joint:

This is the stage where one distinguishes the masters from the apprentice.

• Place the filter at the end of the joint and curl the rolling paper around it. If you are right-sided roller place the filter on the right, vice versa.

• Delicately sprinkle the weed into the 'U' section. Try filling the side furthest from the filter with more weed. This will ensure the conic shape of the joint.

• Tuck the edge lip of the rolling paper into the filter. This little detail is key, if you do not properly tuck the lip, your joint will fall apart.
• Slowly roll the joint up, all the while straightening the rolling paper and rolling the weed into a cylinder inside the rolling paper.

• Once the tip opposite of the filter touches, lick the glue and glue the joint together beginning from the top to the butt of the joint.

• Hold the top edges of your joint and ensure its sealed. Shake side to side using centripetal force to compact the joint

• Close off the unsealed top with a few twist, push in to flatten the top and your master piece is ready to assist you for some self-medication! 

During the rolling process I understand some people may use student cards or credit cards to keep their joint straight. I have nothing against this methodology, just like I have nothing against using a calculator on a math test. I prefer an open flame to a microwave. I hope you've enjoyed this tutorial.

Please enjoy responsibly and in moderation. Do not operate any vehicle or heavy machinery while under the influence.